E.D. and Funk

by Griffin O'Hara

I like how my title sounds like a couple of symptoms for V.D.

“You’re going to be noticing some funk down there. The funk on your wang won’t hurt you, apart from tasting like a fine blue cheese, but these antibiotics oughta take care of it.”

“Thanks doc.”

“Don’t be silly, wrap yer willy.”

But seriously, expectation is never the same as reality. I’ve never been good at distinguishing the contents of my imagination from reality. I think I get into my head too much and in doing so, reach conclusions far, far, too early. Which really explains a lot of my behavior in public, I think. (Weak title tie-in)

This is probably how it goes: I reach an early conclusion based off of my own data and then act according to my assumptions. Silly, but it does seem to be the only way that works.

Anyway, I don’t know why I’m spouting this stuff. Probably out of a misguided impulse towards “wisdom.” Kind of like an online journal where you work through everything, then realize: hey, maybe life isn’t so bad after all.




I watched both Long Way Round and Long Way Down, which are on Netflix. The wanderlust in me is setting in. I think I’ve always been a wanderer, though not necessarily a globetrotter. I’ve always loved biking, walking, and running to different places, and getting slightly lost in the process. I know few things as satisfying.

I feel kind of dumb watching adventure-travel shows on my living room couch, though.

The dirtbag kind of lifestyle has always appealed to me, living solely to do something I love. I’m scared of heights, so climbing might be a bit of a stretch, and I’ve never seen the point of paying to slide downhill with a board strapped to my feet. But I would love to travel for the sake of the experience, (but then, what else does anybody travel for?).

I guess anything is an experience, no qualifiers necessary. A day by the pool in Cancun, is by no means less valuable than a day anywhere else, provided you use the experience, right?

What if they combined ecotourism and sex tourism into one awesome kind of thing? Purchase a tranny for the night and proceeds will be donated to preservation of the endangered Somalian Warthog.

I don’t know, I just want to move, basically. Peripatetic has always been one of my favorite words, so there’s that, too. I love the idea of a road trip. Motorcycles. Bikes. Even cars. I want to catch a few rides back home on Craigslist. That sounds fun, too.

Anyway, I need to actually get my lazy ass to the gym. The sickness abates but is still present.

I’ve been listening to a couple Parliament albums, since funk is played pretty regularly at work. I think it’s fantastic.